Do Over
by Natarie
Summary: Sasuke thinks he’s mentally insane. Itachi says this is a very near thing with all shinobi and completely normal. Sasuke isn’t sure it’s a good idea to be listening to the dead brother who inexplicably decided to come back.
1. In which Sasuke makes a friend

Do Over

(subtitle)Otherwise Known As: The Funtime Misadventures of Sasuke and Itachi

(subsubtitle)Learning to make the world a better place through the ineptness of one brooding stupid-head Uchiha

[Sasuke thinks he's mentally insane. Itachi says this is a very near thing with all shinobi and completely normal. Sasuke isn't sure it's a good idea to be listening to the dead brother who inexplicably decided to come back.]

A/N: So. I don't know at all what this is, but the idea of Itachi coming back to bother Sasuke is just too good to pass up. That… and I'm running on less than three hours of sleep.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I would make some choice decisions about how women and their awesomness are treated in the series. And I think I would like to see Sakura wielding that axe.

Warning: Sasuke may, in fact, have a heart! I know, that discovery had to be firmly contested by a leading team of experts for five years before I could even admit it here with any sort of confidence!

* * *

It wasn't like Itachi just showed up one morning and told him to make the bed and fold his clothes. Itachi didn't just _appear_ out of nowhere and demand that Sasuke hand over the ironing because, silly Sasuke, he was doing it all wrong, and if he was going to do something foolish like iron his boxers, the least he could do was get the folds right.

No, it was more like Itachi had just always been there, and time and the presence of something that may or may not have been Itachi's ghost just gave the apparition more substance. Because, truthfully, Itachi _had_ always been there. Back during the Avenger days, all Sasuke thought of was: dead family, get stronger, kill motherfucking crazy elder brother. Youth to adolescence Itachi was the little haunting, terrible face that spun around and around in his memories, Sharingan commas whirling and melodic voice echoing within the confines of Sasuke's head, foolish little brother, you are still so _weak_.

Then Itachi was dead, and his merry-go-round face should have vanished, only it didn't. Instead, the crazy Itachi of his memories was only the tip of the general Itachi iceberg. Faceted in the frozen, super-compacted ice were endless memories and images that flashed _Itachi, Itachi, Itachi_ like the screens of a dozen movie theaters each with a thirty-second clip on endless repeat.

And the worst part was that the water metaphors didn't end there. The iceberg had to go and melt, slowly but surely, and let the miniscule bits of Itachi trickle into his consciousness until his brain was saturated and all the muddled, muddied Itachi was sloshing around the inside of his skull.

Pretty soon, his mind was drunk on it and fabricating tiny snapshots of memory to fill in empty pieces. Next he was remembering the cadence of Itachi's voice and getting sound bites as his brain steadily painted-by-number the colors for a man who, for so many years, had been nothing but crisp black outline on clean white paper stained so, so very red.

Of course, when he thought about it later, he supposed that at some point the flood gates would have had to be broken. For so many years he'd focused on power and let his brain carefully package away anything that was too much trouble to deal with, until he was cozily tucked up within his own mind so deep he'd never need to get out again.

Thank goodness for people who said they cared about you. Along came the older brother he'd hated, smiling and poking him in the forehead and poking a hole straight through Sasuke's little sanctuary. Then it was like everyone was following Itachi's example, and suddenly Sasuke found air holes where none had been before.

Finally, there was just too much light coming in, and why did he even bother pretending to sleep when the light thrust cruelly into his eyes? So Sasuke got up, making a big pissing deal about it because that was what he did, and it turned out he'd been living underneath a big cardboard box all along, like a bum.

And that was really it. Okay, so Sasuke was lying. A bunch of shit happened with the Akatsuki and Madara and the rest of the other powerful, freaking insane people Sasuke's life was peppered with. Except he didn't want to get into it now. Itachi was bitching at him to cook something decent, really, why don't you?

That was the whole problem. Along the way, at some point, the quiet voice in the back of his head that most normal people called a conscience and most shinobi ignored had started sounding more and more like his brother until _poof_ there was Itachi, and, Sasuke, really, you should be more polite to your friends, I know you weren't raised to be this rude.

"Oh, shut up," Sasuke muttered, dragging a hand across his forehead and floundering in his bed as if he was moving to get up, when really he wanted another two hours in the dark under his sheets.

You have training in half an hour, Itachi chided, and if you skip breakfast and get hungry, you'll whine and gripe and generally make an ass of yourself. Don't pout at me, Sasuke, I know you.

So Sasuke dragged his feet and artlessly flung his covers about in some semblance of order before padding into his kitchen and finding he'd only wasted about a minute and a half. All was quiet as he wasted another seven scrambling some eggs and toasting some bread, adding butter and jam and drinking straight from the milk carton, because it didn't matter if Itachi said it was unhygienic and gross, damn it, he was the _only one_ drinking from it and if his brother-turned-conscience had a problem with it, he could shove it.

Sasuke knew he was starting to sound insane, talking back to himself in a way that was definitely reminiscent of crazed loner behavior. It did not help matters that it hadn't bothered him until Itachi had said something, and now it did. Sasuke missed the days when his conscience was so ineffective and weak and didn't sound like the voice of his impossible, alluring, and always-right-even-_before _-he-went-and-started-chiding-Sasuke-for-leaving-the-toilet-seat-up-because-what-if-he-had-guests big brother.

Sasuke, Itachi reminded him, I'm very flattered you're thinking about me, but it's not going to work. I know you're stalling, and if you don't go now you're going to be late.

Obediently, Sasuke rose, rolling his eyes and cleaning up after himself. He was out the door, sandals on his feet and ignoring Itachi's voice that was calmly telling him he _really_ should have been on his way five minutes ago.

Once again Sasuke was going off to participate in a Team 7 sparring match, a regular occurrence that he dreaded some days and relished on others. Usually whoever was in the village would just show up for the scheduled meeting. Unusually, Sasuke arrived to find a training field devoid of former teammates.

Scowling, he cast his eyes about, felt for chakra, and came up blank: No teammates. Then he noticed something on the far side of the training field and a confused look crawled onto his face. Sasuke could see something bright green running around Team 7's preferred training area and moving blurs of green in Konoha could mean only one thing.

"Sasuke-san!" Rock Lee greeted with his normal cheery exuberance. "It is a pleasure to see you this fine, sunny morning!"

"Lee," Sasuke bit out, clenching his teeth harder as Itachi reminded him to be civil. "Where are my teammates?"

"Ah, I regret to inform you, Sasuke-san, but none of them are here today to meet with you!"

"None of them?" Sasuke asked skeptically, as if Rock Lee might in fact have cut them up into small pieces and put them in his training bands in lieu of his usual weights.

"No. Sakura-san is busy with the hospital and sends her deepest regrets. As for Naruto, well, when he learned of his mission and Sakura-san's inability to attend, he requested that I keep you company!"

Sasuke groaned mentally, but straightened before Itachi could say anything and walked to where Rock Lee stood. "Taijutsu training then?"

"Oh? Do you want to?" Rock Lee blinked, large round orbs conveying complete innocence.

Sasuke, Itachi started, forewarning him to be careful with how he phrased what he was about to say. You don't want to be a snobby clan prodigy bigot, do you?

"You're… better at taijutsu," Sasuke said, in what he felt was a very diplomatic way.

"It's good to train at everything!" Rock Lee declared. "Don't worry about anything on my account, Sasuke-san. We're just here to fill in for Naruto and Sakura-san."

"'We'—" Sasuke started to question at the same time a flare of chakra appeared and Rock Lee looked up with enthusiasm.

"Neji!" he cried, and Sasuke took the opportunity to roll his eyes while no one was watching, knowing Itachi wouldn't let him get away with it later. Slowly, he turned to face the Hyuuga clan's prodigy, face as blank as he could make it.

Neji strode up, oozing confidence and nonchalance. Git, Sasuke thought, only to have Itachi burst in with: You should be grateful for this opportunity to train with another ocular clan member. Use this match to your advantage, Sasuke. A good Uchiha doesn't just rely on the Sharingan to learn the moves of the opponent.

Sasuke's face fell into a frown. Noticing this, Neji stopped short of the other two, giving Sasuke a considering look before inclining his head slightly.

"Uchiha."

"Hyuuga," Sasuke muttered in reply. Itachi made an observation, noting the tensing of Neji's shoulders at what Itachi termed a "perceived threat from your indiscrete use of address, Sasuke," but Sasuke ignored him.

Neji, with nothing else to say, turned to Lee, obviously more at ease with his teammate than with Sasuke. "What are we going to do?"

"Sasuke-san and I were just discussing it before you arrived."

"Oh?" Neji regarded Sasuke again, ever the cool cucumber. "And what were you thinking of, Uchiha-san?"

Now he was paying for his assumption from earlier. Either he could voice his first suggestion trying to look as serious as possible in the hopes that the Hyuuga wouldn't think he was trying to disrespect Lee, or he could suggest something else and hope that Lee kept his big mouth shut. Decisions, decisions. Sasuke tried channeling 'don't-embarrass-me' mental brain waves at Lee, in the hopes that he wouldn't get knocked on his ass for this later.

"I was working on chakra control with Sakura previously…" He dangled the Sakura bait before Lee. Shamelessly, his brother had to add.

"Of course! Konoha's cherry blossom has the most impeccable chakra control. How wonderful to be on her team and able to receive one-on-one training from her!"

Plan: Success. Lee was in full Sakura-swoon mode, and even Neji looked a bit annoyed at the gushy green pile of mush his teammate had turned into.

"But Sakura-san isn't here," Neji pointed out mildly, quickly smoothing his annoyance back out of sight. "Even if I can see your chakra points, I don't have any advice to offer on how to use chakra efficiently."

"Unfortunately—" what was _really_ unfortunate, Sasuke thought, was how quickly Lee had snapped back to the present; obviously his teammate didn't hold as tight a grasp over Lee as he'd previously thought—"Neji is right. But, Sasuke-san, you did suggest taijutsu, didn't you? Always a staple of training, and Neji and I will be more than happy to assist you!"

And now Neji knew something was up. Damn. From his eyebrow tilt, Sasuke knew that he knew that Sasuke had just been trying to avoid mentioning Lee's lack of chakra. Sasuke waited for the punishing remark from the Hyuuga, but Neji merely gave a small shrug of his shoulders and turned to further face Lee.

"Taijutsu training is fine with me. I just practiced my Hakkesho Kaiten with Tenten yesterday. We're only on loan for today and Lee _is _the best at taijutsu in our generation."

There, Sasuke thought, eyes narrowing as he spotted the slight in Neji's words. By implying that Lee was the best at taijutsu in their generation, Neji was also insulting Sasuke's own taijutsu skill, stating it to be below the level of Lee's skill.

Except, Itachi cut in, your skill is surely lower than that of Rock Lee's. As a user of Kekkei Genkai, you rely heavily upon the Sharingan and the extended use of ninjutsu it grants you. Don't be arrogant, Sasuke. Count yourself lucky to have access to chakra when this boy bases his entire career as a shinobi upon taijutsu alone.

For a second Sasuke scowled, prepared to argue with his brother. Then he caught sight of Neji's curious stare and realized he couldn't very well back-talk his brother in this situation. Of course not, Itachi replied smugly. Sasuke, when will you learn to listen to me? And for a second Sasuke was quite willing to let Lee and the Hyuuga believe he was insane if he could snap at Itachi.

But Neji had added a hiked eyebrow to his curious stare and Sasuke felt something he didn't want to admit was embarrassment stir within him. Trying to keep his features carefully blank, he looked away and winced when Itachi said quite sternly, Sasuke, that was rude.

"Alright."

His lips clamped up. He was appalled at the easy acquiescence that had just fallen from his mouth, by the response he'd allowed himself to be goaded into, but apparently his shock was considerably less than Neji's.

The Hyuuga blinked slowly, a puzzled frown settling easily on his face. "Ah. Yes. Are we… pairing up?" It didn't seem to occur to the Hyuuga clan's prodigy that there were three of them and pairing up would leave the unoccupied person to fight one already tired from a previous match.

Fortunately, Lee was still paying attention. "I suggest a battle royale! Taijutsu only! And I will not side with Neji simply because he is my teammate!"

Wincing automatically at Lee's exuberant and exceedingly loud voice, Neji snapped out of his surprise. The implications of Lee's shouted words got through to him and he paused from examining Sasuke to examining the situation. For his part, Sasuke was glad to no longer have Neji staring at him as though trying to dissect his brain.

It was bad enough to have a disembodied Itachi currently occupying the space inside his skull. Sasuke wasn't quite sure what he'd do it if Itachi's presence became widely known. He really didn't relish the thought of being locked up and subjected to various psychological tests over the older brother who was supposed to be dead and gone.

Pay attention, Itachi chided, and Sasuke looked up and straight into Neji's eyes, an action that startled the already slightly surprised Hyuuga.

"That sounds fine to me. Uchiha-san?"

"Hn." Sasuke said, trying to hurriedly backpedal and regain some of his former aloofness. His response seemed to reestablish Neji's opinion of him, for some of the tension drained out of his shoulders. Sasuke, despite his lingering mortification, found some sort of dark amusement within his mind.

See, Itachi murmured silkily, in that insufferable tone of his, it is beneficial to change habits, if it means revealing weakness in others. If you weren't so caught up in yourself, I'm sure you could experiment on those around you in a more satisfactory manner.

His brother really was a spoilsport. Sasuke didn't need to be told _that_. But he ignored Itachi and gave Neji and Lee an appropriately nonchalant mutter of agreement before the three of them scattered across the training field to prepare for the impending match.

Sasuke, ducking down beneath a bush and slowly drawing a kunai went over the interaction in his head, analyzing his reactions and what he'd observed from the body language of his companions. Overall, he didn't think his inopportune outburst had reflected too badly upon him. Lee wasn't the type to dwell on the actions of others, so Sasuke had little to fear from him. As for the Hyuuga, Sasuke correctly surmised Neji would be too busy reflecting on his own composure-shattering reaction to think of Sasuke's out of character agreement.

Pride assuaged, Sasuke crept forwards on his knees, the better to observe the still empty training field. He didn't notice that Itachi had been strangely silent for his monologue. To Sasuke, the empty training field was a bad sign. Lee and Neji trained together frequently, meaning they knew each other's techniques and thought processes far better than his own. They would be overcompensating, being extra cautious to make up for the other's foreknowledge.

Sasuke didn't have that luxury. At this rate, he was going to be drawn into battle first. He didn't like the thought of wasting valuable time and energy when a few extra seconds of concealment would allow him to choose when and under what circumstances he entered the fight.

Swiftly, he slunk from his hiding place, dashing quickly to press himself into the bark of a tree. He heard the faintest rustling from above his head, planted a quick exploding tag to the trunk of the tree and ducked, racing in a crouch and alighting nimbly in the branches of a tree right before the loud explosion boomed across the cleared field.

Instantly, Rock Lee appeared from wherever he'd been concealed and fell on the unfortunate victim of Sasuke's trap with a flurry of kicks and punches, drawing the Hyuuga into the middle of the field through the progression of their traded blows. Sasuke smiled in grim satisfaction and waited for the perfect moment to enter the fray and take them both by surprise.

Sasuke, duck.

Without questioning his brother's calm command, Sasuke ducked and launched himself forward even as Neji crashed into the underbrush somewhere behind him. Already waiting for him after launching his teammate at Sasuke's hiding place, Lee blocked Sasuke's first punch, flipping backwards to avoid the leg Sasuke extended in order to sweep his feet out from under him.

Already half-crouched, Sasuke dodged to the side and backwards, using his position to trip Neji and send him sprawling into Lee's fist. But as he tried to move away from their tussle, Neji latched onto Lee's upper arms and spun, letting go of Lee and sending him—and his kick—straight into Sasuke's side.

He landed with only a slight wince for his side, already tucked into a defensive position as Neji and Lee completed the triangle formation, each standing guardedly equidistant from those on their right and lefts. By some unspoken rule during this lull in the battle, they all watched each other warily, ready to move the instant someone broke rank.

Sasuke weighed his options. Neji looked slightly mussed, the time he spent fighting Lee before Sasuke was outed obviously having some effect on him. The Hyuuga looked the worse for wear of the two, but Sasuke's sharp eyes noted the favoring Lee placed on his left leg. Apparently, when Neji tossed him at Sasuke earlier, his leg had connected badly. Concerning himself, Sasuke felt a slight pain in his left side, but nothing was broken and he didn't think it would affect his performance too negatively.

He saw Neji twitch out of the corner of his eye and jumped, unsurprised when the other two followed him. Maneuvering mid-air, he tried to fend off Neji's blows while trying to either find an opening in Lee's movements or somehow pass his hits off onto the Hyuuga. In the end, his observation paid off in a series of clever blocks, all directing the bulk of Lee's force away from his person and into Neji's path.

Sasuke was surprised to land and find his right leg nearly crumpled beneath him at the impact. Somehow, one or other of the blows he thought he avoided seemed to have made their mark. So he was particularly careful to watch the moves of his opponents, trying to get rid of one or the other of them and lessen the strain on himself.

And then all of a sudden he saw something when blocking a particularly fierce blow from Neji. Did the Hyuuga just—yes, Itachi cut in, he overcompensates on his turns, likely due to a subconscious knowledge of the Byakugan's weak point. He'll show it again, and you must attack at the very last moment of forward momentum before he recovers and brings his guard back up, because otherwise his footing and balance is nigh flawless.

Sasuke felt his eyebrows shoot up. High praise from his brother indeed. Knowing that it was only a matter of time before Neji revealed his weak point again, Sasuke waited and at the exact moment it became possible for him to land a blow, he sacrificed himself to one of Lee's debilitating hits, twisting immediately to land a kick that shot up and under Neji's guard and sent him flying back into the trees.

Then it was just Sasuke and Lee.

Rock Lee was watching him with single-minded attention. Sasuke was suddenly aware of the ache in his chest, not to mention the soreness that seemed to have extended the length of his right leg. Though he looked tired, true to his youthful vigor Lee didn't seem as seriously hurt.

It would be fast, Sasuke knew, and he was right. Staring at the sky on his back, he reflected on the match. His brother was right… _as usual_, Sasuke thought with a scowl as he felt up his chest and grimaced. Without the Sharingan, he really couldn't match Lee in taijutsu. While it was a humbling thought, Sasuke supposed that it was just as well. Now he'd be forced to try and remember what he'd seen Lee perform in practice later. That, and some of the Hyuuga's "nigh flawless" footing and balance would be very useful in combination with some of his katas…

"Sasuke-san?" Lee was bending over him, one hand extended. Sasuke didn't even think about rejecting the offered help, allowing Lee to drag him to his feet.

Neji was standing some feet away, his left arm dangling uselessly at his side as he used his right to hold his left shoulder steady. At Sasuke's questioning look, he frowned.

"Lee must have dislocated my shoulder earlier. Getting knocked into the forest again certainly didn't help."

Sasuke shrugged wordlessly, not sorry to have knocked the Hyuuga flying and unsure if he was supposed to find something meaningless to say instead. Rather than puzzle through the conundrum that proper social manners were, Sasuke lifted up his shirt and blinked in surprise at the giant mottled bruise that was his previously undamaged left side.

"I think one of the two of you broke my ribs," he said dryly.

"Yosh! That must have been me," Lee volunteered easily. He was favoring his left leg even more, and Sasuke guessed that he'd only exacerbated whatever sprain he'd originally suffered when he continued fighting.

"Uchiha-san, how is your leg?"

Sasuke barely gave Neji a second look. "It's fine," he started to say, but at the same moment he took a step and his leg twitched once under him before giving out and toppling him forward.

Itachi made a disapproving noise in his head, and Sasuke sighed. "Thanks," he told Lee, and Lee blinked once before letting go of the shoulder he'd grabbed to stop Sasuke's fall, a massive smile spreading across his face.

"Of course it is no problem! In fact, as I appear to be the least injured of our group I will be happy to help both of you to the hospital. No doubt, we all have injuries that require looking after and I believe I know a medic of our mutual acquaintance who will be happy to see us."

Sasuke suppressed a groan, not sure how he felt about seeing Sakura today when he'd escaped training with her. In the process, he caught sight of Neji's eye roll and was surprised when the Hyuuga gave him the briefest look of amusement, mostly because he felt himself smirk in response.

Then, because a scolding from Itachi about manners was sure to be delivered if he didn't—Sasuke could already hear his brother's words on the subject ringing in his ears—Sasuke bit his tongue so hard he felt blood fill his mouth and let another tiny bit of his pride die.

"Neji-san," he called, the part of himself that had been amused earlier just as entertained by Neji's answering vapid look of shock at the unfamiliar form of address passing Sasuke's lips.

"You overcompensate when you turn, probably in order to cover the Byakugan's weak point. Due to this, it makes you slow to react and causes you to drop your guard at the crucial point right before you move into your next action. If you were using the Hakkesho Kaiten it wouldn't be a problem, but in normal movement it's a critical weakness."

Neji's brows snapped down in thought as he considered Sasuke's words. "That was how you landed your blow on me." It wasn't a question and Sasuke didn't treat it as such, merely waiting for the Hyuuga to consider the fight to his own satisfaction.

"I will work on that. Thank you… Sasuke-san."

Nodding, Sasuke didn't need to hear Itachi's voice to know that his brother approved. Idly, he decided the new respect between himself and Neji didn't bear thinking about. He hardly saw the Hyuuga in the village due to his ANBU duties. They wouldn't see each other enough for it to truly matter.

"If we are trading constructive criticisms in order to increase our success in battle, then I also have words of encouragement for Sasuke-san!" Unsure of what this meant, Sasuke only turned to regard Lee, curious expression prompting him to continue. "Sasuke-san, you rely too heavily upon your Sharingan. Without it you are slow to take openings available to you, instead choosing to block or dodge blows. Do not lack confidence in your taijutsu! I am sure you are highly proficient even without the added weapons of katana or ninjutsu!"

I had noticed this, Itachi remarked. Being the Last Uchiha does not give you an excuse to use Sharingan alone. Though I am aware this has occurred to you already, Itachi said before Sasuke could reply with something sarcastic. Now, it gets easier each time you say it, I assure you. Say 'Thank you,' Sasuke.

"I see," Sasuke said from somewhere underneath his bangs. Then, much softer, "Thank you."

The wide grin he was famous for split across Rock Lee's face. He made no comment, approaching Sasuke and slipping an arm around his neck so he could put his weight on Lee instead of his injured leg. Neji fell into place beside them, carefully holding his arm in place to keep it from jostling, and together they made their way to the hospital.

* * *

It will be better next time, I promise. Lee and Neji star in this chapter, meaning boys will be boys. And by "boys will be boys" I obviously mean "boys will try to kick each other's asses" which obliges me to write 3ish pages of boring (and made-up) fight descriptions.

Next: Sakura


	2. In which Sasuke speaks without thinking

A/N: Thanks for sticking around if you're still reading!

_Ouch! _Suffice to say, if Itachi and I have our way, this won't be the only chapter that focuses on Sakura.

Disclaimer: Itachi and I would be very disappointed in you if you thought that I owned either him or Naruto.

Warning: Sasuke waxes poetic on suicide and has a brief lapse into irrationality. How does one outclass Itachi, anyway?

* * *

"What is it?"

Sasuke heard the voice through layers of haze and confusion. For an instant he thought of spring, of festivals and new growth on the trees and he felt himself sitting wedged into the space between the roots of an old tree while all around him there was nothing but _bright_. But then he was jostled and pain seared through his body, disrupting the light and the vision of peace around him.

"It's… It's Sasuke," he heard Naruto's voice. Naruto… that's right, Naruto was carrying him, Sasuke thought. But if Naruto was carrying him then the other voice must be…

A gasp. Then in a voice so quiet Sasuke could hear nothing but an indistinct mumble though he _knew _it must be his name she was repeating: "It's Sasuke?"

"…concussion," Naruto said. Sasuke frowned because he didn't think he'd been thrown that hard, but if he had, that would explain why everything seemed to pulse slightly. Tired suddenly, he shut his eyes, the colors around him too bright, too sharp for him to look without his eyes watering.

"…bleeding at his eyes and nose," Sakura said. "I think… internal bleeding. Put him down, Naruto."

Sasuke's eyes shot open when he caught the word "bleeding," and he blinked, forcibly trying to clear his vision. Who was bleeding? Was it him? Above him, Sakura's face swung into view.

She looked… He wasn't sure how she looked. The green of her eyes and the pink of her hair shone in his vision, but her features were pale in his cloudy gaze and he couldn't make out her expression. Her hair was gleaming strangely and when he focused on it he could see the red at her scalp. Almost wondering if her hair had changed color while he was away, he realized suddenly it was blood and it was dripping from her scalp in rivulets that flowed over her forehead and around her eyes.

Pained, Sasuke gasped, tried to speak, and promptly gagged. He didn't want to see Sakura bleeding like this. Sakura leaned forward and pressed a hand to his lips. The pink in his vision swung and he felt sick, closing his eyes and trying not to think about the red mixed in with the pink.

"Don't speak, Sasuke. I'm going to… Naruto! …happened?"

"…not sure. Madara… freaky time-space jutsu. Sasuke was right in the middle of it. His hand…"

"I'll look at that later," Sakura avowed. "I'm more interested in… internal damage looks serious."

Then Sasuke was alone, only the roaring in his ears keeping him company. With his eyes closed he almost believed they'd left him there. Now that he was only concentrating on himself, he realized that parts of his body were ice cold. His chest felt strangely warm and he thought about his heart, still beating even though Itachi's had stopped.

Itachi…

"It's okay, Sasuke." His eyes snapped open in response to her voice. "It's okay. We know about him. I'll save you."

Sakura was leaning over him again, and she glowed green at the edges. Something wet fell onto his face and he winced. Was she bleeding on him? He didn't want her to bleed, not ever.

"You… I don't know what Madara did to you, your organs are… They're _wrong_, Sasuke. They're in all the wrong places! But I'll fix them. I'll fix them."

Fixing was always Sakura's job, Sasuke reflected. Ino was also responsible for patching up the Rookie Nine after their various scrapes, but generally surrendered to Sakura's expertise. But for his part, Sasuke would rather spend his treatment being glared at by Yamanaka Ino than deal with Sakura's forced hospitality.

It set his hackles up, being smiled at as if he were a particularly interesting painting hanging on the wall. You're guilty, Itachi supplied. You are uneasy and disconcerted in her presence. You feel anxious and unsure of yourself because you know there is something you need to do that you haven't.

Or maybe I just have a crush on her, Sasuke almost snarled, his thoughts abruptly vicious after Itachi's presumptiveness. But he was still reliant on Rock Lee's support, and it wouldn't do to snap such a phrase where Gai's pupil could hear it. Like his sensei, Lee was patently oblivious to sarcasm and would only take the statement as truth. Hyuuga Neji, on the other hand, would wonder why Sasuke was suddenly talking to himself.

There was no way Sasuke could request a different medic and in the process reveal to Neji and Lee how Sakura couldn't stand him. Though how she feels about you is probably already common knowledge in the village, Itachi said, as ever quite willing to rain on Sasuke's parade. The only reason you wish to avoid seeing her is because it will assuage your own pride and guilt.

That was certainly further than Sasuke would ever allow himself to think. Though it was useless, he again bemoaned having snooty Itachi stuck somewhere in his head where he was impossible to dislodge. So in the only form of rebellion he was allowed, Sasuke resolutely ignored his brother the best he could, concentrating instead on their journey to the hospital.

By the time they actually arrived, Sasuke was concentrating so hard on putting one foot in front of the other in order to ignore his brother's words that he was momentarily surprised when Lee stopped moving. This led to his nearly falling out of Lee's grasp until the other man gripped him tightly and embarrassingly around the waist to keep him upright. Sasuke caught Neji's eyes flashing and dared him with his own to comment. Neji declined and turned away, though Sasuke could see his shoulders shaking in suppressed mirth.

Of course this was the scene Sakura would happen on: A Hyuuga Neji trying to hide his laughter and Rock Lee holding Uchiha Sasuke about the waist as Sasuke leaned on him.

Sasuke knew this was not the worst situation Sakura had ever seen him in, but he was also aware that his accidental kiss with Naruto in the Academy had sparked a second theory among his peers that he flamed hotter than his Katon Gōkakyu no Jutsu and this biological mishap was the reason he couldn't return the feelings of any female. He also knew that due to _that bastard, _Sai, Sakura was more than aware of this theory. Sasuke didn't think he was wrong to imagine Sakura was thinking of _that bastard's _words as she looked at him and Lee.

"Somehow…" Sakura glanced at each of them in turn, her professional gaze evaluating their injuries with a single glance. "I don't think this is what Naruto intended when he assigned you two to take our places."

"That is my fault!" Lee didn't seem to realize that taking responsibility wasn't appropriate for the situation. It didn't help either Sasuke or Neji's pride for Lee to outright admit he had caused most of their injuries. Neji twitched, but long exposure to his teammate only made him roll his eyes outside of Sakura's sight. Sasuke wanted to glare, but Sakura was watching so he settled for very subtly clenching his fists.

"I am afraid I must take the blame for much of the damage! My apologies, fair Sakura-san."

Sakura only looked more amused that Lee was expressing condolences to her rather than the two men he had helped beat up.

"Sasuke's ribs?"

"Myself."

"His leg?"

"A combined effort between myself and Lee," Neji admitted. Sakura shifted to look at him.

"Your shoulder?"

"Myself and Sasuke-san!"

"Your ankle, Lee?"

"That was the two of us." Sasuke felt it necessary to put in his two cents as well, rather than have the Hyuuga again speak for both of them. He hadn't given the matter as much thought as he should've earlier, for now he was particularly galled to realize he was the most injured of their training group.

More to learn from, Itachi remarked sagely. Sasuke did so wish he would shut up. Itachi's pearls of wisdom usually just made him feel more foolish. Presented with Sakura's smile—focused in his direction but for Lee's benefit only—Sasuke found it hard to be optimistic over anything about this situation.

"Alright," Sakura conceded after hearing their distribution of blame, "come on and I'll heal you."

So saying, she gestured and they fell into step behind her, Neji leading the way as Lee fell behind, still supporting Sasuke on his useless, traitorous leg. Their journey was short, Sakura ushering them into a nearby empty examination room, no doubt taking pity on Sasuke's gimp. But her affection for him ended there, for when she turned to her patients and looked at him, her gaze was studiously blank.

"Sasuke, you're the most injured; you first." So saying, she gathered chakra straight to her hands, leaving them glowing eerily despite the fluorescent lighting of the room. Such a gesture could only be interpreted as impatience, for no medic would risk wasting chakra before actually getting their hands on the patient.

He didn't bother looking at his companions. Without doing so he already knew the puzzled expression that had come over Neji's face and the good-natured confusion Lee was currently blinking with. Lee started to step forward with him, his hand still around Sasuke's waist, but Sasuke gave the briefest of head shakes, and the hand fell away. Determined not to falter but still knowing he couldn't move quickly or risk falling, Sakura's hands glowed the scant seconds it took him to walk to and hoist himself onto the examination table, a stark reminder that he was less than even the most cursory of patients in her eyes.

She was efficient and brisk, tending his ankle first and telling him to nix the shirt in the meantime so she could move on to his ribs. Then she shunted him to the side, just as efficient and brisk as before, in order to move on to Lee who she proceeded to spend several friendy minutes chatting with.

Sasuke stood to the side, shrugging his shirt back on and then bending down to put on his sandal and roll his pant leg down over it. When he straightened, Sakura was crouched down, one hand on Lee's ankle, still talking casually. Sensing his eyes on her, she turned to him was a smile so clinical it practically stank of formaldehyde, an expression Sasuke knew could only bode ill.

"Oh, Sasuke. Why are you still here?"

Something shuddered to a halt within his chest. Sasuke knew it couldn't be his heart or else he would be dead, but he wasn't quite sure why it felt as if various internal organs had suddenly keeled over and died. On that trail of that thought, he wondered why he felt anything at all. It wasn't like this was a new thing or that Sakura hadn't said or done worse things to him in the past. What she said shouldn't cause a reaction in him.

Numbly, he could only blink, his gaze stumbling with his thoughts over Lee, happy expression at Sakura's attention frozen on his face, Sakura's alien smile, the shock on Neji's face that was slowly melting back into calculating blankness.

_Git_, Sasuke thought again distinctly, quite aware that he wasn't angry at the Hyuuga at all and that thinking disparaging thoughts at Neji was a fruitless venture. Hoping somehow that his sudden stillness wasn't too much of a tell-all, he pressed his lips together and prepared to leave.

"Sasuke-san," Neji said suddenly, breaking the tense atmosphere with his placid voice, "I would enjoy speaking with you sometime. Lunch, maybe?"

For an instant, Sasuke really wanted to say no. He wanted to say no because if that was pity from the Hyuuga his life was definitely over and he needed to go find some truly _creative_ way to off himself, just so they couldn't say years later that even in death his older brother had outdone him yet again.

But on closer examination, Neji didn't look pitying. The other man had surely received enough expressions of the sort to know never to use one on another, and this understanding showed in his eyes. So Sasuke bit his tongue, an action he was beginning to suspect might turn into a bad habit, and re-evaluated the situation.

Neji was calm and emotionally detached, choosing to look at situations logically and without the brash and abrupt decision-making employed by some of Sasuke's _other_ acquaintances. Gifted with his own ocular Kekkei Genkai, they had much to talk about, and Sasuke would be a liar to deny that his new and positive relationship with Neji had put him in mind of training and the pointers the Hyuuga would be able to give him on his balance and footing. No doubt the Hyuuga thought he could receive other pointers on potential weaknesses in his stance or movements from Sasuke himself.

Put in these terms Sasuke replied with honesty, using the new form of address to cement the offer. "I would like that, Neji-san."

Neji nodded his assent. Then, because there really wasn't anything more to do and he was still contemplating what manner of suicide could possibly outdo his brother's death, Sasuke left the examination room behind.

Obviously nothing _normal_ could possibly surpass Itachi's death. It was a sacrificial death, and those were always the most dramatic and tear jerking at funerals. His death rated up there with Yondaime's sacrifice to the village. How was Sasuke supposed to compete with that? That level of plotting would take another lifetime to complete. In fact, at the rate the Sasuke wasn't accomplishing anything, it would take fifty of his lifetimes to measure up. It was just not going to happen.

It sounded impossible: that he could suicide-outclass Itachi. But what was really impossible was that he was even thinking about the matter, semi-seriously as it was. But as long as he thought about faux-suicide and not what had just happened he wouldn't have to think about—

Sakura? His brother easily filled in the gap.

Sasuke shied away from the thought as if it was a particularly toasty fire and he a nice dry twig. She's not going to go away, just because you don't want to be around her, Itachi reminded him. It was true of course. This was a concession Sasuke no longer needed to make as the only things Itachi ever told him were true, the pompous jerk.

That didn't mean he didn't routinely try and avoid coming into contact with her. Their dynamic was… dead. There, he'd said it. He was too... uneasy around her and she hated his guts. Of course he would try and avoid her, he was just making things easier for everyone, especially himself. It didn't help that most of their acquaintances were mutual, meaning they saw each other far more than either would like.

_Acquaintances? _Really, they are your friends, Sasuke, and you should refer to them as such. Just because you hardly talk doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful picking the words you do choose to speak.

"It's not like you were ever known for being particularly verbose," Sasuke scoffed, still in public but far enough away from any other passerby that he felt safe finally verbalizing his argument with his brother.

I used conversation as a tool when I deemed it necessary. Word choice is an even more significant process when one speaks little, and you are already aware of how your speech patterns are rude at best, generally pushing others away from yourself. Are you as afraid of speaking as you are of your past mistakes?

"I am not!" Sasuke denied vehemently. Then he frowned, wondering how it was that Itachi always reduced him to three-year-old rhetoric. "I don't have anything to say." To address the latter part of his brother's question, he tacked on "And I'm not afraid of my past. I'm certainly not afraid of you."

Yet you are afraid of facing Sakura, Itachi pointed out.

"I'm not _afraid_," he protested, "I'm guil—" Realizing what he was about to admit, Sasuke sealed his lips together and tried again. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say to her."

"Sasuke?"

He whirled around to find he was standing in front of the Uchiha holdings and Sakura was staring at him as if he'd grown a second head. In panic, he glanced around quickly, whether to pretend he'd been talking to someone or to validate his paranoia by finding Itachi standing next to him smirking, he wasn't sure. Regardless, there wasn't anyone nearby he could have been talking to. People tended to avoid the area near the Uchiha holdings on principal, even before he'd left the village. If the property hadn't been rebuilt after Konoha's destruction as a concession to Naruto's hope, it wouldn't even be necessary for people to avoid this place.

How did his brother get him into these situations? Despite being dead, Sasuke felt sure Itachi had known Sakura was standing there and had led Sasuke straight into talking in front of her.

Of course I knew she was there, Itachi said in answer. You would have as well, if you had been paying attention.

Some sort of barb was hidden in there about using his elite shinobi senses and not being taken by surprise, but Sasuke had a feeling his brother didn't mean the lesson as seriously as he usually did. Not in this case when he'd managed to benefit from Sasuke's negligence.

But Sasuke nearly gaped at his brother's statement because, seriously, the man was _dead_. How could he plot when he wasn't alive anymore? He was a figment of Sasuke's imagination! Why did Sasuke even get up this morning—oh, right, because the _figment_ told him to. This was ridiculous. He was just going to go back to bed and pretend—

I suggest you say something, Itachi said mildly. She's still staring at you.

The only intelligent thing he could think of to say was not very intelligent at all: "Sakura?" Pretending he was surprised to see her wasn't very hard because he really was surprised. Doing so while still keeping his face blank, however, was much harder.

Obviously displeased to not know what was going on, Sakura's eyes narrowed, and she scowled at him.

"Who were you talking to?"

Ah, the million ryu question. There were only a couple of answers to this question, and none of them would cast him in a good light.

"Myself," he eventually chose, nearly the most honest answer he could give. The most honest answer was of course "My older brother, that wanker Itachi," but Sakura was a med-nin and she could sign him up for psychological tests faster than he could chidori her and eliminate the evidence.

And neither of these answers was as bad as "You," which would mean he'd have to explain himself. This was the worse outcome possible because he was… afraid of her. Not of getting punched, that he could maybe survive. No, Sakura was friends with most of the people he was… friends with. But the chances that they liked her better them him were very high because he was… rude and tended to push other people away.

Was Itachi happy now? Sasuke certainly hoped so, because neither he nor Sakura was.

"Hm," Sakura said, staring at him. Sasuke wondered if she could see Itachi smirking through the hole she was boring in his head, because he knew the smirk was there even if he couldn't see it.

"Well, whatever," she finally acceded. "Karin told me to tell you that you're still on for training tomorrow; she doesn't have to take that mission with the hunter-nins anymore since the target was brought into the village today."

Her message delivered, Sakura gave him another assessing glance before turning her back on him and preparing to leave. Sasuke supposed Karin had caught her going on her lunch break and requested a favor out of her before she went on her own afternoon shift.

"Wait, Sakura."

She stopped and looked at him over her shoulder. For a second Sasuke didn't realize what he'd done, the actions of thinking about why Sakura was even talking to him and speaking out to call her back so disconnected in his mind he was having trouble catching up with the situation he'd just involuntarily created.

Itachi's words about speaking carefully were haunting him now that he'd opened his mouth without a clue over what to say. He didn't know what to say to her _ever_ and this time was no different. By this point Sakura was starting to look really angry, now facing him fully and suspecting he'd done something dumb. Which, in all honesty he had, but not for the purposes of antagonizing her like she probably thought.

"Yes?" Any second now she was going to give up on him and walk away. Or worse, deck him and then tell _that bastard_ about Lee's hand on his waist and how Neji had asked him to have lunch sometime.

"I…" He hesitated. What was he supposed to say? What did he _want _to say?

"Do you know when Naruto's coming back?"

Sakura fixed him with a look that clearly questioned his intelligence, but Sasuke didn't care. "I think his mission's supposed to last a week, but you know Naruto. He'll probably be back tomorrow in time for lunch."

"Kakashi?"

"Oh," Sakura smiled the one scary smile she was likely to never use on him, "_that one's_ taking some time off, compliments of the Hokage." Meaning Kakashi had exerted himself too much on a solo mission, came back without reporting his injuries, Sakura found out about it and got him forcibly removed from the mission roster.

Sasuke was so adamant about not seeing Sakura whenever he could that he'd become very good at not getting injured on missions so he could minimize his visits to the hospital. Ironically, an accomplishment that would have normally made him a favorite shinobi of the Hokage had instead made him captain of his own team, meaning Sasuke still had to show up at the hospital because a captain was required to make sure his subordinates received the proper care and recovered even if he was uninjured.

"I told him if he showed up for training or I caught him doing _anything _physical, I'd assign Gai as his nursemaid."

Thinking about this, Sasuke voiced the single flaw in her plan: "But Gai's away from the village on a mission."

If anything, Sakura's smile only grew wider. "_Sensei_ doesn't know that."

Very sure he had nothing to say to this, Sasuke kept his silence. Sakura likewise sensed the conversation was over and stared at him, all traces of amusement gone from her face. In an instant, she had stalked up and leveled a finger at him. He tried very hard not to flinch; she could destroy mountains with a single finger and he had no desire to be turned into rubble.

"Next time," she said, her voice deceptively calm while her eyes raged, "tell me the truth. Or don't even talk to me, I don't care. But don't think you'll get away with lying to me a second time."

She glared, dropping her finger and stepping away. "Or I'll tell Sai how friendly you are with Lee and about the date Neji asked you out on." With that, she rapidly raced through the requisite seals and vanished in a swirl of cherry blossom petals.

He blanched. That was just a parting shot; she wouldn't really twist the situation and tell _that bastard_ any of those things or she'd risk hurting Lee and Neji as well. She wasn't usually that deliberately malicious… but _the bastard_ was. If she turned the information over to him, no doubt he'd find some way to use it to reflect the worst on Sasuke and time it for maximum embarrassment and reputation smearing.

He should have stayed in bed today and damned the consequences irregardless of what stupid Itachi had to say about his bad habits and social inadequacy.

* * *

A/N: Sakura and Karin are friends? I'm going off the impression that after landing in Konoha's lap, Karin made the most of her situation and found a relative ally in a Sakura as pissed off at Sasuke as she was. And a lot can happen in a year and a half.

If the moral of this story isn't apparent yet, I'll explain: Sasuke's made a bunch of mistakes, pissing off and generally making many people unhappy for different reasons. Itachi's always looked after his little brother, what better way to do so after death than by making sure his brother is finally well-adjusted, mentally and socially happy? After all, Itachi was the one who made Sasuke maladjusted in the first place. It's the least he can do.

Unfortunately for Sasuke, apologizing is the one thing he's never practiced much.

Next: Team Sasuke


End file.
